She stated: “I experienced to be a bogus individual to offer with the surreal scenario I was in.
“Usually for me it involved alcohol. I assumed I could not be fantastic adequate, wise, funny, or crazy more than enough to be with specified people today without the need of it.”
The ‘Burn’ singer even used to drink just before showing up on BBC Radio 1’s Reside Lounge, since she was so anxious about undertaking live on the radio.
She extra: “Live Lounges utilised to be most nerve-wracking, I even drank right before those people, I swear to God.
“I would say, ‘Right, I have received to drink this morning mainly because I have acquired this job interview and I do not really know how to remedy the issues, simply because I do not seriously know who I am any more’.
“I imagined ingesting would at least make me a bit extra amusing, or intriguing.
“I wasn’t an alcoholic. I could go months with out a consume also.”
And Ellie – who is now married to Caspar Jopling – has claimed her enjoy lifestyle at the time, which saw her day DJ Greg James and McFly’s Dougie Poynter, was just as perplexing.
She spelled out throughout an appearance on Fearne Cotton’s ‘Happy Place’ podcast: “I didn’t know who I was. I was in interactions but I felt like I necessary to have somebody for the reason that I was not shut to my relatives.
“I experienced this occupation taking me all over the environment, that was forcing me to be in the highlight every single working day, to be talked about, so I often needed another person. But I wasn’t really me. So any person I was close to, I never want to say it was not real, but it wasn’t what it need to have been. I regret that, but it was my survival.”